The buzz for Game of Thrones season five was at peak levels last week. It was one more day until the HBO premiere and shit couldn’t have been any more exciting.
That is until I got home on Saturday night and found out that four episodes of the series had leaked prior to Sunday even officially striking on the calendar. So what is a brother to do when he sees Game of Thrones episodes dangling on the Internet like fresh meat in front of a hungry lion?
Well, you already know what happened.
Sunday was spent ruining a month worth of Sunday night HBO thanks to binging on these four episodes. Can you blame me? I was really going to watch two, but the shit kept getting realer and realer and by the time you know it, episode four was a wrap and I was left wondering how long I would have to wait until episode five aired.
A whole fucking month. That’s how long.
I can probably sit here and tell you spoilers about how John Snow turned down pussy or who died within the first half of the season, but I won’t. It wouldn’t be fair to the people who are actually holding out and watching on schedule. God bless those people. They really have more strength than I do. More strength and self control.
One thing I will say to the people who are still in the dark from what’s to come is, the chess moves are being made from every direction. The North over at Winterfell is plotting the resurrection. Daenerys Targaryen is making bad decisions that may come back to haunt her. Littefinger is the shadiest fuck alive. Arya Stark is trying to let go of her past and find herself. Tyrion Lannister is a depressed drunk fugitive that can’t give up prostitutes.
Oh and Margaery Tyrell is really out here on some reverse Tyga shit.
Fuck it, I’d let her have my way with me at 13 or however old the new king is. Natalie Dormer is the prize of Game of Thrones, right next to Nathalie Emmanuel.
Anyway, for those who actually watched the episodes, what did you think? Who do you predict is going to die this upcoming season? (I’m sure there will be spoilers in comments, so for everyone else who hasn’t seen nothing less than the first episode, stop reading now).
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